Writers are a peculiar breed. Even though we live all over the globe in a variety of different habitats and abodes (and display a surprising range of personality traits) as a collective bunch, writers are often marred by a particular set of idiosyncrasies… like the things that drive us bat shit crazy:
1. Copies, all the copies
Like when you realise mid-way through a major edit that the Google Doc you uploaded last week is NOT THE RIGHT ONE. Because, duh, you emailed yourself a copy last night and you also saved a different version to your USB stick shortly after that. But wait… are you sure that’s the right one??? Which one is it!?
2. Scrivener
Because you don’t have it and every other writer has it and they keep telling you how freaking amazing it is and there’s this thing called binder and you should totally ‘get it RIGHT NOW because it’s on sale.’ So you tell them ‘oh my God I know, I really need to buy it!’ And then you never do, but they just won’t let it go.
3. Handwriting
Because you can’t do it anymore. You’ve been so busy typing that your penmanship is now a messy suroul. Sorry scrawl. But it’s not like you can actually handwrite a book and then make $1 billion USD, right??
4. Your cat
Who can forget the time he ninja-jumped onto your keyboard and somehow, miraculously, deleted a huge junk of your manuscript without any chance of recovery? And yes, ctlr+z did not work and that copy you uploaded to Google Docs STILL ISN’T THE RIGHT ONE.
5. Hello
It’s your cat again. He just ate your manuscript. You know the failsafe copy you printed for emergencies and stashed in a secret, locked cabinet?
6. Your parents
When they tell everyone ‘you’ll be the next J.K Rowling’ and you’re super upset with them because… you thought you were the next J.K Rowling.
7. Potatoes. Yes, potatoes
Remember that time you dreamt up the most unusual and unique story in the history of the world?? It was about this guy who goes to Mars, gets left behind, grows some potatoes and then all of his astronaut friends come to the rescue. You were going to call it The Potato Man but… ANDY WEIR WROTE THE SAME DAMN THING SEVEN YEARS AGO AND NOW IT’S A MOVIE AND HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW THAT!?
8. Emails
For all those times your heard a familiar ‘ping’ from your phone and you just knew it was from that big time editor you queried 2 years ago declaring their love for your book/poem/six word story. But it was God damn Goodreads again. Apparently The Book Bound Society was about to read P.S I Still Love You.
9. Writing rules
Like, you know, that adverb-rule Stephen King told you about? But did he also remind you that adverbs don’t always end in –ly? Yep, you now have to do another seek and destroy because someone is not ‘very tired’ they are ‘exhausted’. Obviously.
10. Editing
Um… God speed, good and faithful servant.
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Hilarious and love all of the crazy kitties! A perfect Friday read!
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such a beautiful!
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Curses! Stephen King and his maniacal crusade against adverbs find me even here.
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cool
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Hah! Joke’s on you! My handwriting was trash already!
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It’s as if you are in my head…
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We must all be tuned into each other hahah
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Seems I’ve saved myself a little extra frustration by being a dog person. 😂
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Yes, you’ve got that right!
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😹😹
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Nothing worse than printing off a copy of something you have written, given to a loved one to proof read, and two weeks later they have only read the first two line, and you question yourself, did they read it and not like it or thought it was rubbish, or have they just not bothered to read more than two lines? After you have spent days writing it, pouring you heart and soul in to the piece in question.
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So true!! Love this so much. ❤
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Thanks 🙂 🙂
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Hi
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Absolutely brilliant 😂 Writers tell us that people calling their work a “little hobby” is right up there!!
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A few good laughs! Thank you!
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I use software that programmers use for version control (I use Mercurial on bitbucket, but GIT is probably more common these days) to do my backups. That way I’m always editing the latest version, but can still get to backups if I need to. Unfortunately, I tend to forget to back up often enough—I finally got around to pushing my recent changes to bitbucket and there were 166 files that had been added or changed. That was scary, as the only copy of the changes until I did the push was on my laptop! I’m writing a textbook, so a lot of the files were new figures.
I don’t find myself editing the wrong document often, but I do often find myself writing a paragraph or a section I’ve already written. (Well, more accurately, I find almost the same paragraph in two different places in the book, written months apart.)
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LOL, Great post Milly, I’m really enjoying your blog!
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omg I laughed out loud with numbers one and eight!! And Scrivener… 🤦🏼♀️ I’m one of those people who got so tired of hearing about it that I decided to try it out myself and I actually kiiiind of like it… Personally, it could never fully replace Microsoft Word for me, but I definitely see its appeal when it comes to drafting!
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Haha! Love all the cats! I totally feel you on the Copies, Cats and Emails! I would also add snacks! I cannot keep typing without keeping on snacking! xx
https://dressupparty.wordpress.com/
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Try mowing the lawn.
While you’re mowing your quarter acre you draw out the most amazing story your mind has ever come up with. You got this. No worries. Once you finish you’ll go in the house, dust yourself off and write it out. Child’s play.
You finish mowing. The bride offers lunch. You take her up on it. You eat. Do a little shopping. Enjoy your day. Come home. Shower. Nap. Watch a movie and just before you end your day you realize you had this great story idea that is now….officially…..GONE.
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One thing that makes me mad about writing is I live in a world of non readers.
No one in my family reads and no one at my job reads.
I attended some writer meetups but they didn’t appreciate the fact that I write about how residual income gives people financial freedom.
Writing about money and financial freedom is over a lot of people’s heads.
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I love my cat, but I can’t work when he’s around. He ninja-jumps onto my keyboard all the time, and I can’t get mad at him lol
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Lots of fun to read, nice post.
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I love cats, but these are little hell raisers!
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I would like to be more a Shana Abé, JK Rowling, Cassie Clare combo, along with many others. Not all of it applies to all of us but I see your point when it comes to editing and writing and the frustrations that follow.
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Brilliant post – really made me smile :O) x
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Reblogged this on Abitsa and commented:
More words of wisdom from Milly Schmidt of The Cat’s Write
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Thanks for the reblog!!
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We’ve all been there…editing what’ve we’ve already edited or editing the wrong document. You put a great spin on the experience and made many grin and laugh. Thanks, Milly.
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Thanks again Tom! It’s really great to hear that my cat gifs are actually making people laugh! My worst nightmare is getting crikets, lol
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Loved your post. 😂
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Thanks 😂😂
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Love the addition of kitties, the mighty writer companion. Sigh… do we consign ourselves to writing for the love of it or do we keep dreaming of fame and fortune?
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I think the dream of fame and fortune gives us hope, but it’s the love of writing that really keeps us going
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Lol! Great post. Ah, the joys of Scrivener. Or so I’m led to believe… 😉
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Yes this hahaha
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I am rolling on the floor, with tears in my eyes! Thank you for this invigorating start to my day!
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Yay, you’ve made my day too! Hahaha
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Egad! You’ve said it all, and I can relate. ❤
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Awesome ❤️
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Excellent use of cat gifs. I also have problems keeping track of all the versions of a story- cause you don’t want to actually delete any of them of course! And I’ve tried Scrivener but I just don’t have the patience 🙂
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I never like to delete my old copies either, I have so many it’s ridiculous. It’s come in handy a few times though when I’ve deleted a chunk of a story and belatedly decided I wanted it back – all you have to do is go back through an old version! And voila! You’re saved
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J.K. Rowling? I’d be offended, because I don’t think she’s actually that big of a deal. I mean, yes, she’s filthy rich, but that doesn’t mean that she wrote the best thing ever. You can do so much better.
As for potatoes – totally! I live in the wrong times. Everything points to it.
I have this fantasy that one day when I will be rich and famous, I will publish a handwritten book and it will be a huge hit.
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I wonder how many writers have that exact same fantasy? Probably most if not all, even if they never admit it. Who wouldn’t want to be rich and famous? Lol
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Did you know you can get electric current from a potato?
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Hey, I thought this WAS JK Rowling’s blog… you had me fooled, so why does everyone else not see it?! ;o)
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Hahahah thanks you are the best 😂😂
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Great points, they all hit the mark. And wonderful gifs too.
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Thank you 😊
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Loved this post. 🙂
Editing is actually my favorite part of story-writing. It means that I’ve actually written a story, and all that’s left is to make it the best it can be.
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You are so lucky! I can’t stand editing, which is why I always accompany it with videos of cats leaping into the unknown lol
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A very good list. The one thing I do is save my work by date. I have a million copies but they are all dated.
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I save by date too! I didn’t always save by date though, but it makes so much sense and saves SO MUCH hassle I don’t know why it took my so long to figure it out lol
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I the bejeepers out of chapter for a very long series I’m writing….only to discover its the wrong damn version…ARGH!!!. Now include the file name, date and time when I saved and edit.
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I did the EXACT same thing once too and it was just awful, which is why I save by date now as well 😂
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You are a wise and talented woman Milly. As always, I will try and keep your advice (and wit) handy while I pen my masterpiece.
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Hahah thanks Anthony 👌
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Very Funny! Keep âem coming!
Sent from Mail for Windows 10
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Thanks!!!
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Editing. Aaaaaaallllllll the editing….. And proofreading. And more editing. And more proofreading. And the “how in the &$%( did I not catch that typo in the last 3 proofreads?!” And that means yet another proofread…and editing… 😉
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Oh god editing, I just can’t even 😂
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These cat memes are everything. ❤
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Yay!! Thank you
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Funny, funny and I so love your cat gifs!
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Thanks Chris!!!
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Hi Milly , I love your pictures
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Good post, though I am surprised that “accidental typos you don’t notice for three drafts only to seem blatantly obvious after you find them” did not make it to the list.
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That shoulda been my number one! Although I’m guessing I lumped that one under editing, but absolutely deserves its own point 😂😂 especially when it’s a typo that makes the sentence completely awkward and weird hahah
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Reblogged this on Cynthia Hilston – Author & Blogger.
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God ya. Sheesh. 🙃😉
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😁😁
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The Potato Man. Gold.
Thanks for the laugh!
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Makes so much more sense to me than The Martian 🤔 🥔
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I mean, the potatoes saved his life, but mars was just trying to kill him, you know?
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Hahaha you have a strong case. I’m convinced.
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I had a “Potatoes” moment a few years ago and I’m still mad. That’s not how convergent evolution should work! It’s just not!
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Hahah oh no!!! I reckon a potato moment must have happened to us all at least once 🥔🥔
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So downputting. But probably makes us stronger if we survive. 😀
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I’ve never laughed so hard in public!
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I wish I could have seen this!! Ahaha
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