When my cat died on March 20th, I stopped blogging entirely. The only reason you’ll see I posted blogs on that particular date (and after) is because I always schedule my blogs about 1-2 weeks ahead.
I would like to let you all know that I have been reading every single comment left on this blog – even if I never replied. Your comments have been little sparks of light in the darkness. Thank you too, for all the lovely, heartfelt emails and for being so understanding and sharing in my grief when I posted about losing Sven last month.
I’m not embarrassed to admit, that I, the ever optimistic happy go-lucky crazy cat lady, finally reached the end of her tether after my pet died. And we should not be ashamed of feeling sad. If we do, we help perpetuate the stigma of depression that stops people reaching out for help.
It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to let others know that you’re not coping well.
For me, I think the problem was, no matter how lousy I was feeling, my dog and cat would always be there for me, so to lose one of my constant companions has been absolutely devastating. I have never needed Sven more than I need him now, yet he’s lost to me forever.
I usually feel pretty happy most of the time, but when Sven died, any sparks of happiness vanished along with him. It took a few weeks before I could look at a sunrise and feel that rush of appreciation and contentment I used to feel. But even then, I knew that something was still not right.
I think I recognised I was getting to a point where I couldn’t handle the grief any longer. I needed some cats around to force me to laugh. I mean… how can you not laugh when you see a face like this??
I also used to love how chummy my dog would get with her cat friends… in particular, she bonded quickly with my first cat Moet, but also loved giving Sven kisses too.
After much thought (or perhaps none at all lol), I decided to adopt two adult rescue cats, Hugo & Boss (originally Squiggy and Ritchie), who have been waiting for a home for three long years with Purrfect Match Cat Adoptions.
I wanted to adopt them not only because they had been waiting for so long, but because Lesley Inkson, the director of Purrfect Match, had said “they are the most delightful of cats. They are great all-rounders and I’m really sad they have been overlooked for so long. The rest of their siblings found homes as kittens. They are smoochy, purry, playful and clean and easy to please. Bonded brothers to go together. Great with kids, cats and dogs.”
When I went to view them at the shelter, I watched Boss jump clear into a mirror. After we stopped laughing, I just knew… Hugo & Boss were always supposed to be mine.
The day I brought them home was the day I started writing and blogging again. It’s never been more clear to me now that pets really are magic for the soul. Yes, it hurts terribly when they leave us, but when they are a part of our lives, they make you smile and can drag you out of the house and force you to socialize (and clean up their poo when they miss the litter tray). No wonder they say dog and cat owners are happier than those without.
Pets can give you a reason for being. A reason for laughing. A reason for loving. And all you have to do is open your heart.
I still don’t feel quite the same, but I think that’s natural as I’m still grieving. Hopefully one day soon I’ll be back to my cheery, happy self. In the meantime, I am so eternally grateful to Hugo & Boss for ending my drought of creativity and giving me so much love!
It’s never been clearer that I need both a dog and a cat(s) in my life to feel happy and whole. Okay… so I also wouldn’t mind a handsome knight on a white horse to come and rescue me, but that’s probably because I’m a hopeless romantic.
If you would like to donate to Purrfect Match Cat adoptions, please visit their campaign page over at YouCaring.