My little munchkin, Sven, passed away last week on March 20 after he was hit by a car. He was only two years old. I could go on and on about how guilty I feel that he got out of the house that day and I forgot about him, but I can’t do that to myself.
I really wanted to let you all know so you could understand why I’ve been a little silent this past week and not replying to comments or emails like I usually would. My heart is still aching very badly and I miss him… so much.
The very reason I named my blog ‘The Cat’s Write’ was because of Sven and his great love of eating paper (a.k.a my manuscript) and sitting on my laptop while I (attempted) to type away. He was the most entertaining writing buddy and I loved him for it.
Sven also helped me get over the loss of my first cat, Moet, who went missing in March 2016. The day I brought Sven home in June 2016 was the day I started to heal again from Moet’s disappearance. He fitted in so perfectly with me and my dog Poppy – it was like he’d always been part of our family.
I think some people underestimate just how much grief one can feel when you lose a beloved pet. Apparently the pain you feel can be comparable to losing a close family member, yet we don’t always get the support we need from those around us. I went to work the day after Sven died even though it felt like torture. There is no such things as ‘personal leave’ for when your pet-children die – at least, not in my country.
Losing Sven has been one of the toughest things I’ve ever had to deal with. Some days I feel like I’m dying. My body is still aching in places that have never ached before as it tries to silently process a grief that is still poorly misunderstood and sometimes disregarded by others.
Sven was always there, right beside me, following me around the house. It didn’t matter if I’d only moved two steps, there he’d be. My most favourite moment of every day was waking up to Sven stretched out next to me on my bed – or pawing me in the face, meowing for food. This morning, before I could remember that he was gone, I thought he was sitting on my legs. It was just a cushion.
I also loved coming home from work to scoop him up in my arms. I’d do anything to feel his reassuring weight on my shoulder again and his little claws digging into my back. He was so gentle too, he never chewed your hands and he absolutely loved his belly rubs! He was my little shadow who followed me wherever I went.
This past week, little memories of him have been flirting in and out of my mind, often startling me out of the blue. Like the sound of his double bell collar rattling whenever I called for him, his obsession with drinking fresh water straight from the tap, playing fetch with my hair ties, how he politely NEVER attacked my Christmas tree until I was taking it down, how he loved to watch TV and could open any door he was presented with (by staring at it, then I’d come running).
I’m sorry for the flood of Sven photos I’m about to shower you with, but I really wanted to share with you this precious little corner of my heart that will remain empty until the end of my days. I really don’t want to forget him, not ever.