The cat behind The Cat’s Write

My little munchkin, Sven, passed away last week on March 20 after he was hit by a car. He was only two years old. I could go on and on about how guilty I feel that he got out of the house that day and I forgot about him, but I can’t do that to myself.

I really wanted to let you all know so you could understand why I’ve been a little silent this past week and not replying to comments or emails like I usually would. My heart is still aching very badly and I miss him… so much.

The very reason I named my blog ‘The Cat’s Write’ was because of Sven and his great love of eating paper (a.k.a my manuscript) and sitting on my laptop while I (attempted) to type away. He was the most entertaining writing buddy and I loved him for it.

Sven also helped me get over the loss of my first cat, Moet, who went missing in March 2016. The day I brought Sven home in June 2016 was the day I started to heal again from Moet’s disappearance. He fitted in so perfectly with me and my dog Poppy – it was like he’d always been part of our family.

I think some people underestimate just how much grief one can feel when you lose a beloved pet. Apparently the pain you feel can be comparable to losing a close family member, yet we don’t always get the support we need from those around us. I went to work the day after Sven died even though it felt like torture. There is no such things as ‘personal leave’ for when your pet-children die – at least, not in my country.

Losing Sven has been one of the toughest things I’ve ever had to deal with. Some days I feel like I’m dying. My body is still aching in places that have never ached before as it tries to silently process a grief that is still poorly misunderstood and sometimes disregarded by others.

Sven was always there, right beside me, following me around the house. It didn’t matter if I’d only moved two steps, there he’d be. My most favourite moment of every day was waking up to Sven stretched out next to me on my bed – or pawing me in the face, meowing for food. This morning, before I could remember that he was gone, I thought he was sitting on my legs. It was just a cushion.

I also loved coming home from work to scoop him up in my arms. I’d do anything to feel his reassuring weight on my shoulder again and his little claws digging into my back. He was so gentle too, he never chewed your hands and he absolutely loved his belly rubs! He was my little shadow who followed me wherever I went.

This past week, little memories of him have been flirting in and out of my mind, often startling me out of the blue. Like the sound of his double bell collar rattling whenever I called for him, his obsession with drinking fresh water straight from the tap, playing fetch with my hair ties, how he politely NEVER attacked my Christmas tree until I was taking it down, how he loved to watch TV and could open any door he was presented with (by staring at it, then I’d come running).

I’m sorry for the flood of Sven photos I’m about to shower you with, but I really wanted to share with you this precious little corner of my heart that will remain empty until the end of my days. I really don’t want to forget him, not ever.

Sven

 

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92 thoughts

  1. Milly – I came back to read more about your precious pet … Sven was beautiful and clearly a beloved pet. You and he made the most of your two years together, the photo slideshow certainly tells all of us that. I feel your pain, having lost my little Buddy – there is a void that will never go away because of the special connection you have with your pet. Take care. – Linda

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  2. I’m so sorry. Losing pets is so hard. We lost the family dog when I was still in high school and I honestly still have vivid dreams about her. Now I have a cat of my own and I dread the day she’s not with me anymore. She’s helped me through a lot and makes me smile all the time. Sending good vibes your way.

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  3. I feel your pain! I had a beautiful boy named Lancelot. He was my roommate, my writing companion, my everything. I raised him from a kitten, taking him from someone who was just going to throw him out on a back road and leave him. He was 5 years old when he passed away from Feline Leukemia. That was a year ago, and I still cry when I think of him. I have yet to replace him as he is irreplaceable and my heart is not ready for another love just yet. You are right about people not understanding how it feels to lose a pet, but I am blessed with friends who do so my grief is easier to bear. Thank you for sharing the lovely pictures of your baby boy and I wish you the best.

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  4. Please fill your life up once again by adopting a rescue cat. I adopted Callie after my jack Russel terrier died from cancer but she had to prove herself because she was a stray and I was a dog person. Now I am a blogger. I will follow you now and will be sending you healing thoughts and look forward to reading your posts.

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  5. So deeply sorry of the loss of your beloved Sven, Milly. It’s very sad when they have to go to the bridge and even if we didn’t know him, we feel the deep pain you’re going through *wipes tears*. Maybe a cold comfort, but know that he will be always near you ❤ Soft Pawkisses to comfort you and your doggie ❤
    Fly Free beautiful Soul ❤ ❤ ❤

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  6. What a lovely post. I totally get where you’re coming from on this and I hope you’ve started to feel better. When our first cat died 12 years ago, after having her company for 17 years, I was devastated. I kept imagining her everywhere in the house, next to me in bed, by the bed, on the stairs, walking through doorways. felt like I was going crazy because you’re just supposed to cope with it like it’s an everyday event. It does eventually ease but you ever forget them thankfully. xxx

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  7. I’m so sorry Milly. My first cat Bailey was hit by a car, eventually we found Jasper who filled our home with love. Unfortunately he went missing before Christmas. It’s a huge hole in our family and one we’re not ready to fill yet. I’m still hoping he comes home.
    Sending you lots of love and hugs in your time grief.

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  8. My mom just had a 20+ year old cat Rosie put to sleep yesterday. I think she cares for her rescued dogs and cats more than her two sons. She’ll get another, I’m sure. I’ve never had my own pet maybe partially because loaing them is so difficult. But to lose a two year old to a car is just tragic. I really feel for you, Milly. No comment necessary. RIP, Sven.

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  9. He was a gorgeous cat! My heart breaks for you, Milly.
    We have two cats, which my children are very much attached to. I can’t even bear to think about something happening to our cats.
    Thanks for sharing Sven’s story, and the cute photos of him. 💕

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  10. Oh Milly! My heart hurts for you!! Our furrbabies are such a big part of our lives. You made such a wonderful home for Sven. You made a difference in his life by adopting him.
    I recently posted about one of our dogs that we had to put down. She was adopted to help my mom through cancer. My mom didn’t make it and I inherited her dog. When I had to put her down it was like reopening a deep wound. Punched in the gut. Are there an end to the tears? Same for my black cat. I missed him so much it hurt. I decided I wanted another black cat but out of no where this orange kitty found me. Kept coming around and fell in love with my dachshund. Felt like my cat sent him my way.
    I hope your heart heals as your memories bring you less pain and bring more comfort ❤️❤️❤️

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  11. I’m so sorry Milly. My heart goes out to you. When I lost my best, most favorite every fur baby to kidney failure, it was all I could do to keep putting one foot in front of the other. He was 20 and had been with me through everything – He was in my life longer than my husband has been so far. It’s a kick in the gut that takes a long time to recover from. Hugs to you from one cat mama to another. 😦

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  12. Oh Milly, my heart breaks for you. I can feel the love and the pain in your words. Sven was a precious soul, and I am so so sorry that he is no longer with you. The death of a pet is just as hard as any other death, and I wish I could gift you the time to rest and grieve. Sending so much love your way.

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  13. So sorry for your loss💔. My heart breaks with you because I know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet. It’s been more than 3 yrs since our dog passed and there’s still times we miss him and are reminded of him.

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  14. I understand what you are going through. Losing a pet, especially a young one, is a dreadful experience and it can take a long time to adjust. Even when you are ready to give another cat a home, you will always remember and miss your dear Sven.

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  15. I’m so sorry to hear that, Milly. I completely agree that losing a pet can be every bit as devastating as losing a human family member – after all, they are family too. We’ve always had animals, and it is so, so hard when you lose them. You never forget them though. Never.

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  16. So sorry for your loss. I lost my cat in a similar way back in July, and it took everything in me to keep going afterward. Cats are amazing creatures, and for me, Combo was my only family for about six months of my life.
    Praying for comfort for you in this time.

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  17. That was an incredibly sad and beautiful post. You are slowly healing by talking about him. I am glad that you did this. Please do not allow guilt to eat you up. Our pets find a way of getting out. This was not your fault. You do whatever it takes to heal. Most, if not all of us on your site can relate. I know I can. Lots of thoughts and hugs headed your way.

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  18. Normally I hit WP likes on posts which I really like, besides commenting, as a sign of how much I liked an article. Here, I just can’t. I feel it, Milly. I’m also a dad of 3 paw-kids, I know how much one can love their great personalities they develop. Terribly sorry for your loss. Not that this says much right now, to be honest, I get that.

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  19. My heart is broken for you. This is making me cry. Literally. I’m sitting here looking at my cat, same furry blanket in your cat photo. Remembering when he was attacked by a coyote or something. Thought we lost him, but didn’t. Oh my gosh! I am so, so sorry for your loss. Lovely photos. I think I’m feeling your pain. Something really moved me here.

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  20. Milly, i guess everyone who ever lived with a little furball can relate to your feelings. I lost one or two of those partners in life. Time won’t heal much, in my experience it was always another one of those lovely creatures who chose to cuddle up and help me to human again. Still, it’s very sad and I feel sorry for both of you ♥️

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  21. I am so sorry for your loss 😦 I’ve had to say goodbye to a couple of pets over the years, and it never gets easier for me. They are our friends, they are our family, and no one (not even our employers) can tell us otherwise…

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  22. I’m sorry for your loss.
    I’m not going to debate whether a loss of a pet can be comparable with a loss of a human family member. However, what I will say is that my co-worker lost her dog recently. The dog needed constant care, lab tests, etc. There was just the dog and my co-worker in their small family. Only one person able to take care of the sick pet. But work was work – no “pet medical leave” available. It made me think. It is very sad that in time of your terrible grief, you have to balance work.

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  23. So sorry for your loss, Molly. I know how you feel. Sometimes I still think of the sweet cat I lost when two neighborhood dogs sneaked up on her while she was sleeping under her favorite tree. I cried for days afterwards, and for weeks I couldn’t talk about it with others without weeping. Still hurts when I think about it fifteen years later. But then I think of the joy that cat brought into my life. The good memories will lessen the pain of the sad ones.

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  24. I’m so sorry to hear this Milly. The pain you must be feeling right now…. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Just thinking about the day when my dogs are gone gets me cryin. I send you a big virtual hug friend 🙂

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  25. I’m so sad for you, Milly… I remember losing my cat Tommie, who also loved eating paper, newspapers to be exact & lay in my school books whenever I tried doing home work. The night he was run over, I was the one who let him out of the house. I felt guilty for that for years. Remember that you were just taking care of Sven. He wanted to go outside & some arse ran him over. Please do not put the blame on yourself. & take your time to heal…

    Sending you a hug,
    Caith Esra.

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  26. Oh, my heart goes out to you. Truly. We had to euthanize our aged Woods in November, and then our dear Jugs, who is a rascal just like your Sven, became seriously ill and it was weeks and weeks of emergency care (he has pulled through). Mourn. It is a very real loss. Know that the love of Sven will not leave you. He is a part of who you are now. Down to the core.

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  27. So sorry for your loss.
    Our pets are always there for us, and when they’re gone it is like losing a loved one. A presence that was always there is suddenly missing. Spam us all you want with Sven pics ❤

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  28. I’m really sorry for your loss. Our pets are family, there’s no other way of putting it. I often joke that I love my dogs a lot more than I love most people, but it’s true. And losing them hurts so bad. I hope you give yourself time to process the grief and to heal in safe place, where no one tries to tell you that he was “just a cat”. Because he wasn’t. He was your cat and he was your family.

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  29. Very sorry to hear of your loss. They can be so determined and quick to get out. I watch my two like hawks. Painful, I feel the pain even just thinking about losing one of mine. Cats seem to find a special place. Sven was a perfect match for your personality. Take care.

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  30. I’m so sorry for your loss. Sven sounds like a very interesting cat. Our cat, Lulu, also loves to drink water from the tap!!! Our other cat, Tiger, would NEVER let anyone take down a Christmas tree without being right in the middle of it. So, your Sven sounds like he knew you and you knew him and you belonged together. Thank you for sharing your story. You touched my heart. xoxo

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