Humans that belong to the writer-subtype are a peculiarity of nature. They have certain traits that often result in a very different dating process than the rest of the population…
…especially when trying to date normal human beings:
1) Stepping out of the writing cave may be scary, but it’s a necessary first step if you want any chance of finding love or procreating in the next 10-15 years. Yes, it can take that long.
2) But things have changed. People use apps to find dates. There’s even this thing called Tinder that’s shaped like a flame. Ah, you get it. So you start swiping.
3) Then you find someone who wants to meet you for a drink! But during the date, you find you have to explain that being a writer doesn’t automatically mean you know how to write haikus on demand – or anything poetry related for that matter. I mean, you’re not a magical unicorn, are you??
4) At the end of the date, you may find you can’t even afford to go Dutch for drinks. Because you have no money. Because you’re a writer. But if you’re smart enough to find a poor sod who can pay for your expensive coffee, chocolate & wine addiction, you hold onto them, tightly
5) Just as you’re beginning to become attached to your new date, they break the number one rule of dating a writer. They mention how ‘they’ve always wanted to write a book too, they’ve just never gotten around to it’. As if it’s as simple as grabbing a pen and Voilà! 100,000 word book is done!
6) You jump into the dating pool again to find someone else. Someone practical and down-to-earth with preferably enough money to support you while you spend two years writing the next #1 New York Times bestseller
7) And then you finally find the one. That one person on Earth destined to put up with your weird writing quirks and your random, hippie-drifter life – yet doesn’t bat an eyelid at any of it
8) You even bestow upon them your greatest honour: you incorporate them into your novel. It doesn’t matter if their name and personality is badly disguised, no one will ever know
9) Depending on how the relationship turns out, your new character will either die a gruesome death or turn into the Tinderella or fella of your bookish dreams…