If you’re a writer, undomesticated equines probably can’t stop you from writing wherever and whenever the tantalising desire strikes. It is a magnetic force that consumes you for a few minutes to a few days at a time, and it can strike randomly and without prejudice.
But, unfortunately… there is one thing that will try to stop you. It’s called your day job (if you’re a poor sod like me who has one). And no matter if you hate or love yours, the story remains roughly the same:
It’s 9am on a rainy Tuesday and you’re sitting at your desk at work typing up an important Report that must be sent to the boss ASAP, when a root begins to grow in your mind. And it’s a ferociously tenacious tentacle that is spreading like a weed. It takes you a minute or two before you realise what’s happened. The writing bug has just laid an egg in your occipital cortex. Good luck getting rid of that.
1. You ignore the growing root at first, proud of how easily you’re handling the situation. But some things you just can’t ignore…
2. At first, you attempt to distract yourself with coffee/tea/hot chocolate/vegan matcha latte, and it works, for a time… except the root is probably drinking the coffee too
3. When you feel like you can no longer take it, you sit at your desk vacantly and daydream until someone asks if you’re OK
4. But daydreaming is not enough. You can hardly breathe. You have to write!! And now!!
5. You take a few sneaky looks around the office to make sure no one’s around
6. Except you’re not alone. You share your office space with a very observant colleague
7. You wait until they seem distracted, and then you begin to type as fast as possible before they figure out what you’re up to
8. You feel so happy you could fly. You could. Maybe
9. Two hours later you realise your very observant colleague has been standing behind you the whole time… watching…
UPDATE 16th Nov: I showed my ‘very observant colleague’ this post. I think she laughed so hard she started crying. As she was wiping the tears she told me she always notices ‘when I’m up to no good’. Perhaps I need to be sneakier… yeah?