It is a truth universally acknowledged* that if you’re a writer who has a cat – well you’re going to need all the help you can get.
They use many tactics to keep us distracted, and it is up to all of us to compile our resources and figure out a way to combat this threat to our creative writing process #ThisIsSerious
Please do contact me ASAP if you suffer from any of the challenges listed below:
1. It’s writing time and you’ve hit the jackpot. Your cat has vanished and you have many hours of uninterrupted writing time spread out before you. But you’d be wrong. Of course.
2. And then it happens. That moment when your cat somehow magically selects Ctr+A followed by the delete button. IT CAN HAPPEN.
3. Luckily us humans know of this handy thing called ‘Ctr+z’. So now they have no choice but to resort to ‘the stare’. It is one of the most intense things you’ll ever experience
4. But you’re wrong. Again. Because there’s this lingering smell… that’s turning into a bloody horrific stench and you can’t concentrate on anything else because like holy balls what have you eaten mate?? And where the hell is that damn poop-a-scoop thingy and why can’t you afford a self-cleaning litter-robot!?
5. You’ve written 25 words when you realise it’s quiet. Too quiet. Wait, did you leave the window open? Nah, you’re pretty sure you didn’t.
6. You’ve finally, miraculously come up with the best twist in the whole world when – BAM. You hear THE MEOW. The I’m about to die meow unless you come and save me meow. But by the time you get there – he’s fine. And the twist you just came up with? It’s gone. Forever.
7. It has taken countless support groups and late night research sessions, but you’ve finally figured out how to distract your cat. Boxes.
8. But the box only works for so long. The cat wants food. Now.
9. After you’ve spent possibly decades trying to ignore/feed/hide from your cat and complete your masterpiece, you think ‘I’ve won! I’ve finally finished!’ But then you come home to this:
Yes, this actually happened to me:
*clearly Jane Austen