It is a truth universally acknowledged* that if you’re a writer who has a cat โ well youโre going to need all the help you can get.
They use many tactics to keepย us distracted, and it is up to all of us to compile our resources and figure out a way to combat this threat toย our creative writing process #ThisIsSerious
Please do contact me ASAP if you suffer from any of the challenges listed below:
1. Itโs writing time and youโve hit the jackpot. Your cat has vanished and you have many hours of uninterrupted writing time spread out before you. But youโd be wrong. Of course.
2.ย And thenย it happens. That moment when your cat somehow magically selects Ctr+A followed by the delete button. IT CAN HAPPEN.
3. Luckily us humans know of this handy thing called โCtr+zโ. So now they have no choice but to resort to โthe stareโ. It is one of the most intense things youโll ever experience
4. But youโre wrong. Again. Because thereโs this lingering smell… that’s turning into a bloody horrific stench and you canโt concentrate on anything else because like holy balls what have you eaten mate?? And where the hell is that damnย poop-a-scoop thingy and why can’t you afford a self-cleaning litter-robot!?
5. Youโve written 25 words when you realise itโs quiet. Too quiet. Wait, did you leave the window open? Nah, you’re pretty sure you didn’t.
6. You’ve finally, miraculously come up with the best twist in the whole world when โ BAM. You hear THE MEOW. The Iโm about to die meow unless you come and save me meow. But by the time you get there – he’s fine. And the twist you just came up with? Itโs gone. Forever.
7. It has taken countless support groups and late night research sessions, but youโve finally figured out how to distract your cat. Boxes.
8. But the box only works for so long. The cat wants food. Now.
9. After youโve spent possibly decades trying to ignore/feed/hide fromย your cat and complete your masterpiece, you think โIโve won! Iโve finally finished!โ But then you come home to this:
Yes, this actually happened to me:
*clearly Jane Austen
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