There is something about the idea of ‘trolling’ that is just so innately relatable to cats. Perhaps it’s because cats take the power away from trolls, turning them into something infinitely more harmless.
To all the trolls out there, so long and thanks for all the fish!
1. Your latest post has gone live on your website, and you sit in a corner, cheeks shining with glee and satisfaction. But not because you think your post is marvellous (well of course it is) but you’re chuffed because you’ve just polished off an entire block of chocolate
2. Five seconds later you notice someone has left you a comment. Someone called ‘thug ducks’* is calling you a wannabe try hard and your entire blog bulls— and a piece of pooh
3. Initially you don’t understand how or why Winnie the Pooh was cut up into a million pieces. God, poor Pooh. Who would do that?
4. And then you realise that you’ve just been trolled!
5. You can’t even believe it and all you want to do is…
6. After you regain your senses, a process which may take anywhere from 5 minutes to 2 years, you debate on what you should do next
7. You begin to imagine what you’d do to a troll in real life…
8. But of course. You wouldn’t do that. You’re a writer for God’s sake and you will TRIUMPH over all. Cue heroic instrumental music
9. But… well… you’re also just a girl, standing in front of a troll, asking him to love her
* Thug ducks is in reality a blending of a few trolls I have come across on my YouTube channel and here on WordPress
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