On getting fan mail from trolls

And yes I’m going to call it fan mail, because I’m gonna turn them trolls on their heads, and that’s alright with me. 

OK, I wouldn’t necessarily call them trolls, but people who have nothing better to do in their lives but waste 10 minutes typing a poorly worded message (and for heavens sake it’s ‘their’ not there’) that only ever ends up in the spam folder. And I never block them, because every time they visit my page or watch one of my videos, my stats go up. How cool is that?

Everyone else on WordPress is so unfailingly nice, and have only ever cheered me on while I’ve been floundering around, learning the ropes, and annoying you all with cat gifs while I try to figure the hell out of this blogging thing. While I didn’t expect to come across any trolls here, at least it’s not as prolific as the fan mail I am subjected to over at YouTube on one of my more popular videos (why is it that they can never spell?)

I’ve always heard that the best thing is to not acknowledge the trolls and just pretend they aren’t there – as you run the risk of making yourself a neon sign for abuse if you write about. But I don’t agree with that. The first thing I thought of when I got fan mail, was how many other bloggers are being subjected to the same treatment and not talking about it? To be honest I was feeling a bit embarrassed that I had even recieved some.

I was trying to think of the best thing to say about this subject, especially considering how contentious it can be. But I really don’t even know what to say.  All I do know is that there are far more good people out there than trolls. And while fan mail does suck, it actually makes me laugh a little…

The reason I find the whole thing funny is because I assume the authors of my fan mail, whoever they are behind their shield of anonymity, must genuinely believe their comments will induce either a) mind melting anger b) pain and sadness or c) some kind of action or response on my part (such as writing this blog post?)

But they must have forgotten about d) hilarious fits of laughter 

Because one thing they must have forgotten when they sent their fan mail, is that I’m a frigging writer.

Like f— me could they be more stupid.

I deal with rejection every day (OK, once a fortnight if I’m lucky). And like Chuck Wendig used to say:

Staple your rejections to your chest and wade into battle with them as your armour.

Seriously, don’t they know that writers are covered in a coat of armour and we have goddamn staples in our chest?

And they thought I would be offended?

The thing is, I have come across more kindness and generosity through my blog than I could have ever imagined, and receiving fan mail feels like another successful notch in my blogging belt.

And the whole reason I’m writing this post is to let all my lovely followers and friends know that you’re not alone, and if this delightful event has happened to you too, then you’ve come to the write place! (Argh, yes I just said that).

🙂

Oh s—, I forgot to add cat gifs…

How a normal person reacts to trolls:

flyingcat

 

How a writer imagines they react to trolls:

highfive

 

How a writer really reacts to trolls:

Angry-cat-hates-everything

 

 

 

 

 

 

95 thoughts on “On getting fan mail from trolls

  1. I am seriously enjoying my aching stomach muscles reading your posts! I appreciate your candid humorous writing that is helping to educate me about the world of writers and bloggers. And the cats, well, I am fairly sure I’m living one of nine lives. Love the gifs! Namaste

    Like

  2. Brilliant brilliant brilliant. As my blog approaches something resembling popularity, I have gotten my recent rash of trolls. But the comments do make me sad, I mean, not for me, but for them. You see that shit pop up from 2am and it’s like “You F*^ing lame a** I”LL KEEL YOU! AHH! RAPE YOU IN THE FACE AHH!” and I just go “good lord, this person must be really really sad” and then I get sad, and I consider asking for their address so I can send them over some soup, because that might make them less sad, and then I”m making soup when it’s really late…and then I remember that you aren’t actually supposed to feed trolls and I go back to bed….. I just followed you for you having to put up with this comment
    https://damngirlgetyourshittogether.com/

    Like

  3. As Hafer once said: ‘any publicity is good publicity’

    Try to read critiques to see if there is anything of value. Sometimes even the most poorly worded drivel can provide some insight into your readership, my young beauty.

    Peace be the Botendaddy

    Like

  4. Great post! I have now officially seen my first cat video (if Gifs count) and I am seriously worried because I thought they were hilarious. On the more serious side, I was disturbed to realize that I have yet to experience the wrath of a troll which, I fear to conclude, might mean I might need to inject a lot more provocation into my writing. Anyway, thanks for dropping by to visit my site. I definitely will come back here.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Never seen a cat gif? Wow you’re a rare gem! I’m so sorry to shatter your innocence – thank goodness you found them hilarious 🙂 Cats are insanely ridiculous.

      You go ahead and provocate!! (Not sure if that’s a word but it seemed to fit nicely…)

      Like

  5. Know yu have that off your chest…I just don’t get this trolling at all….I was taught if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t. Thank you for the follow….I hope you enjoy my posts and I can’t wait untill I get trolled…Much 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Great post Milly. You have an excellent attitude towards trolls. I can’t grasp what motivates them to waste our time (and theirs) with poorly phrased idiotic statements that are designed to hurt others. We bloggers want to share our experiences, to impart knowledge or help others. Trolls, cowards and bullies must surely have something missing inside. Something fundamental like love. I feel sorry for them. You have a great attitude towards these creatures of anonymity – good on you! Rich.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Rich!! Yes the poor little buggers must be missing some good old lovin’ in their life. I try to put myself in their frame of mind – but can’t. It’s so much more fun to create little nuggets of happiness in other people’s hearts, rather than douse them with distress & sadness! We get enough of that as it is!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. When I wrote for BabyCenter – and occasionally this happened on Good Housekeeping, too – I was told I was ugly, a terrible mother and it’s shocking I have a husband. Um…… Now, if someone said this to me in person, I might be irritated. But online? Meh. It didn’t bug me so much. Not because I’m not worth a kinder statement, but because anyone who hides behind the veil of a screen is bully and scared. I’m the one writing in truth. The truth that marriage and kids and life is hard sometimes. So you keep doing what you’re doing. I’ll support ya! Even if I am ugly, a crap mom and about to get dumped by my husband. Perhaps by a troll!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I cannot fathom why someone would be so cruel. What do they gain from using this kind of language? Blogging is a way of giving something back to your community, in your case Andrea, your insights and expertise in the extremely difficult job of raising children (my little girl – my angel, is 18 month old – I know how rewarding, and a test of your sanity that it can be!). I am pleased that you have a healthy attitude towards trolls. They are worse than playground/schoolyard bullies, they hide behind the anonymity of a computer. Cowards. I really hope you have a great day. Rich.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Hi Andrea!! I really like your attitude too – people who troll while online must have issues. If you’re evil when no one’s watching, what on Earth can that mean for you?? Nothing good I believe. Good on you for writing the truth – that’s what I do as well! If I get slammed for it – than hey, that’s alright with me and I’ll be laughing all the way to the… delete button

      Like

  8. Making lemonade out of lemons, every cloud has a silver lining, the list of accurate cliches could go on. What a wonderful approach & great angle to promote, giving others the courage to tackle their fan mail with humour. Fan mail – love it!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. What makes me laugh, is the fact that they spent time out of their day, time that was taken away from another activity, in order to send you that fan mail. They’re the ones who lost out! Love your attitude! I’ll remember that if, or when, I get those lovely messages!

    Liked by 2 people

  10. lol well if you’re getting ‘fan mail’ you must be doing something right! Trolls want attention, so they poke whoever is getting attention and hope some of it will rub off on them ; p Sneaky bastards…

    Meno<3

    Liked by 2 people

  11. At least that means people notice your writing 🙂

    Sometimes I used to read the one-star reviews of books on Amazon and wonder what the writer had done to earn such vitriol. But I noticed a lot of these reviews sound the same. The vitriol has nothing to do with the writer or the piece they’ve written, just the troll’s mindset.

    The only spam I get is from Nigerian princes and kind doctors who want to enhance the performance of a body part I don’t actually possess.
    But I just got an email ASSURING me that I have won the lottery. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey Evelyn 🙂 Those one star reviews on Amazon always have me shuddering in horror! I would not enjoy being on the receiving end of some of them, but a review is a review I suppose (even if it is a troll).

      Well that makes two of us who’ve one the lottery!!

      🙂

      Like

  12. Good for you! I haven’t received any ‘fan mail’ yet (I might be jinxing myself by saying this), but if/when I do I’ll remember your great words (and great cat gifs) and deal with it the same way 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  13. I’ve never been “Trolled” on my blog, but it has happened on Google+. After this experience, I got my revenge by writing a short story about the flawed inner workings of a troll mind and pathetic life. It will be in my next shorts collection.
    I’ve also realized that you can’t please everyone. After all, “Citizen Kane” was a box office flop, and there are people who can’t stand The Beatles.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. True, you can’t please everyone 🙂

      I’ve only been trolled a few times, but one is enough in my opinion. I really do hope you never have to experience it! But if you do you can always come back here and let us know. Not so we can get revenge, but so we can poke holes at their atrocious spelling & grammar mistakes!!

      🙂

      Like

  14. Yeah, there be trolls out there. Never understood why people would bother, but then, I suppose we call them trolls for a reason. Didn’t the original trolls live under bridges or some such?

    I honestly think it’s the anonymity. It would be interesting to see how many people would say the same things if all of their accounts were validated and could be tracked back to them personally. Or how many of them would say it to you in a conference hall.

    You keep doing you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. “interesting to see how many people would say the same things if all of their accounts were validated and could be tracked back to them personally”

      Now THAT would be super interesting – validated accounts that could be linked to real people would totally vaporise the existence of trolls. That’s what they live off – their anonymity

      Thanks 🙂 I’ll keeping doing me 🙂

      Like

  15. Good one! 🙂 One to turn the tables on the haters. So far, I have not had the pleasure of getting a troll to visit my blog, though sure they have visited it at once. Of course, to get attention, one must blog more actively and that is something I haven’t done in a long while.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I’ve actually experienced the same thing on a much smaller scale, somewhere else. It’s amusing, isn’t it, that there are some who take so much time crafting hate-filled messages when they could’ve used it to actually read the work they’re commenting on! Your optimism is inspiring, and I hope others who need to hear this will be encouraged when they find this post.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes it’s very amusing isn’t it 🙂 Sorry to hear you’ve been trolled too!! But as you said, I think most of the time they never even bother reading the work/blog/website!

      I remember getting a comment a few weeks ago from someone who I had recently followed (because I thought he had an interesting blog – not anymore though lol) and he immediately came to my website ranting on about how ‘I had only followed them to get more followers and how my blog was absolutely terrible, bulls— and pathetic.’ I had to laugh at this particular troll because I’d followed him only a few moments before and there was no way he had given himself enough time to go through my blog and form an educated opinion. Felt a bit sorry for him to be honest 🙂

      Like

  17. Great post!

    It reminded me of Jimmy Kimmel’s “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets” segment; you just can’t help but laugh!

    It’s easy to type away something crude and hurtful on a keyboard when you have complete anonymity. What makes reading the posts so enjoyable is they’re always so out of tune with the original message.

    You have a wonderful attitude about your fan mail. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha – there should be a segment called ‘Writers read mean comments’!! Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it though lol

      And you’re so true about how easy it can be to type something mean when you have anonymity! I think whether or not you act kind or evil when no one’s watching – shows you who you really are (I like to say)

      Thanks so much for stopping by 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah me too. The funny thing I’ve found with trolls is that the spam filter often doesn’t catch them (although I do eventually send them all to the spam folder). And I can’t block out words like ‘you suck’ or ‘this is bulls—‘ becasue a lot of my real friends and followers on here might use these words – for completely different reasons of course 🙂 p.s I love the word blether

      Like

  18. What?! I’m so confused…really! How could anyone troll YOU? Your are so much fun and positive. I’ve only been blogging for a few months and haven’t encountered this…I’m 57 and this was my first foray into social media so I was a bit afraid it would happen. If/when it does, I’ll remember your wise words! I tend to agree with other commenters that it’s owing partially to your success. Love your blog…and your attitude. I used to tell my daughter at times like this…they are just jealous.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’ve been on WordPress for about 2 years now – and only got my first truly nasty message a few weeks ago. I really do hope you never get any. But as you said – if you’re pissing someone off enough that they lend you some of their time to write a message (however nasty) – it must mean you’re doing something right! So if you ever get one, just come straight back here and I’ll give you a high five!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. I love that line about the staples, it’s so true but it made me laugh. They don’t know who they are messing with, well done you for putting this out there so we can all laugh along with you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahah I know right! I thought of Chuck Wendigs quote as soon as I started getting trolled. I just thought ‘you’re really wasting your time here mate – move along’. But then I’m happy to take one for the team! And thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Love this post. What you write is true for anything you do in life. I’ve done the whole beat myself up because someone didn’t like what I was doing before, and it’s much better to laugh, be happy and keep moving forward.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Especially like your metaphor of staples and armour because I’ve been collecting my share of rejections lately. But it is getting better. The rejections are starting to add nice encouragements, like “you write well” and “send me your next work.” So, it’s not all bad and I will keep on wading in there with staples in my chest.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Go, you! 👍👍👍

    Trolls, er…I mean fan mail senders give me LIFE! They could do a thousand other things, but instead they take the time to seek me out! I’m a pretty important part of THEIR lives! YAAY! 😄😄😄

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Go on, Milly! Frankly, I don’t see why ANYONE would be mean to you at all. I mean, your cat GIFS bring me delight, you’re a sweet person, and you’ve done nothing wrong to validate their reasons to belittle you. One of the perks of being a “nobody,” as I call myself, is not receiving hateful fan mail. But you’re dealing with it brilliantly.

    Liked by 2 people

  24. It’s great you’re taking this so well!! And honestly, this is one of the best ways i’ve seen anyone handle this sort of situation.
    What i’d like to say is that what they also don’t realize is that people like you and every writer, while writing or posting anything else, puts into mind the fact that not everyone is likely to like what has been published, which is a great advantage.
    They are the ones we learn from too. They are also little pieces of dust that’ll always be around, but also a reminder of how far one has come, and how little they seem when they talk just to talk…no?
    Keep writing, and keep your head held high. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha, yes I love the bonus stats! I decided to leave the trolling comments on my sisters YouTube video up – as each comment only improves the videos ranking and visibility. And my sister and I also have fun sharing the really funny comments. For example, someone recently said: ‘Yes she really can’t its the worst voice I’ve heard in all my inter life’. Besides the grammar mistake, the phrase ‘Inter Life’ sounds kind of science fictiony – could make for a good novel idea!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yep good point, when you look at it in terms of stats and views those comments only help you, not hinder you. That’s awesome haha, “inter life” 😂😂. If I see a book on the shelf by you titled “Inter Life” you bet I’m picking it up

        Like

  25. In the words of Teddy Roosevelt:

    “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

    In other words…shake their dust from your feet and keep striving valiantly!

    Liked by 2 people

  26. Wow. I got attacked by a group once one my “about” page…they didn’t even have a blog I could check out…their links went nowhere…kinda freaked me out but I got over it …then the attack actually encouraged me to write more and writer faster…because I’d concluded if I was getting a reaction…any reaction…maybe I had a big hit on my hands! LOL! Thanks for this post!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s